ARE YOU READY TO DATE?
Let’s start with a self-analysis. Do you like the way you look?
If not, it’s time to determine why and tackle those issues before you start dating. This is the moment to take a long, hard look in the mirror and be truthful with yourself about what you see. No matter how people sugar coat it, dating is competitive, so it’s important to take some time to invest in your appearance so you feel attractive and begin dating with a strong sense of self-confidence.
If you think you need to lose a few pounds, then give yourself the permission to take some time to dedicate to doing that before you begin dating. I cannot tell you how important it is for a woman to feel comfortable in her own skin. That doesn’t necessarily mean you need to be a size 6; it means that you should like the way you look in clothing. When you feel sexy, your body language automatically conveys that. There is nothing more off-putting than a woman who refuses to eat on a date because she’s on a diet, or one that wiggles in her seat trying to cover up some aspect of her body that she is unhappy with. Dating generally leads to physical intimacy, so the best way to begin dating is to become physically comfortable with yourself.
The next consideration is style. Do you feel your style is current and modern, or have you been wearing the same clothing, hairstyle, and makeup for the last decade? When is the last time that you updated your hairstyle, color, and cut? It may be time to change things up a bit and try something new. Sometimes that means going out and finding a completely new stylist because they are usually more willing to take a few more risks than a stylist you have been using for years. When visiting a new stylist, I always suggest taking a few pictures along. That way, they know exactly what you have in mind and can adapt that look to suit you. It’s amazing how transformational a new haircut can be.
Next up is beauty. How long has it been since you tried some new makeup? When we aren’t focused on attracting male attention, it’s quite easy to let personal grooming take a back seat to other things. So now is the time to invest in your look. It doesn’t have to cost a fortune. The first thing you can do is visit a few different makeup artists at your local department store and ask each one to give you a makeover. It’s free, and they are happy to teach you different application techniques with the latest products. Take notes, but don’t buy anything then and there. Live with each look for the day and then decide what products you like after you have had a few different makeovers. If the products are outside of your budget, you can always recreate those looks with makeup brands from the drugstore. Name brands like Revlon and Maybelline have great products too. Updating your look is more about learning how to accentuate your features with the right products than it is about the brands you use.
Finally, have a look at your closet. Do you have a few really pretty “dating outfits” in your wardrobe? Whatever your style, they should make you feel utterly gorgeous and ready to take on the world when you wear them. If you don’t have three looks that you love and feel stunning in, then it’s time to go shopping. I always flip through a few fashion magazines for inspiration before I buy new things. I tear out a few looks that I love, and then I go searching for them. I usually take a girlfriend along whose opinion I trust. That way, I begin the quest with a strong idea of what I’m looking for and don’t get talked into buying things that don’t suit me by a salesperson I don’t know.
This may seem like a lot of work, but you’re not doing it for a man; you are doing it for you. No matter what anyone says, when we invest time and energy in our appearance, we feel confident, strong, and adventurous. Making sure that a foundation of confidence is firmly in place is the first step to being ready to date.
~ Dorrie
Senior Style Bible
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that is one knock out dress – so simple and effective. in as much as you are talking about dating, i think this is equally effective advice for anyone that has found themselves in a rut and a good formula for getting ready to embrace life!
Thanks Eimear. The dress is a few seasons old now and by one of my favorite labels, Alice + Olivia. Although I don’t “bare” my legs anymore, I will wear a dress slightly above the knee in winter if I can pair it with stockings, as I’ve done here. I always feel pretty in a little black dress. I’m glad you found the advice useful and really appreciate your feedback! ~ Dorrie
I really enjoy your posts and your style, but would love to see you without those sunglasses. I can appreciate that you are in Las Vegas, and outside you might need them, but in a bar?
Hi Anna. I know. I’m like the female equivalent of Stevie Wonder, aren’t I? Here’s the problem, I have an eye condition called Fuchs, which makes me REALLY light sensitive, which in turn makes my eyes tear uncontrollably, like I’ve been jilted at the altar, and my makeup a mess. Oh, and I also can’t see. So I usually swan around in sunglasses because Las Vegas is just one big ball of bright lights. Even though this was shot inside a casino and those interior lights still drive my eyes crazy. You aren’t alone in wishing to see me without the shades, so we are in the process of trying to do a shoot on the next cloudy day, without them. Please stay tuned! My peepers will be making their debut soon. ~ Dorrie
OK Dorrie,now I understand, and I am sorry that you are dealing with the eye issue, must be very challenging. I look forward to seeing a post done “in the clouds”…..
I LOVE THE DRESS!!!! I go mostly to the gym nearly every day, church, book group, grandmothers’ group, knit group, errands and excursions with my grands but I want this dress anyway!!
Thanks Jan. Sadly the dress is a few seasons old. It’s by Alice + Olivia. I will however have a look around for similar dresses and do a blog post in the next few weeks that showcase similar looks tat are of a current season. So stay tuned. ~ Dorrie
Dorrie, I’m printing this article and saving it. You had me at the first paragraph. Not at the stage where I’m comfortable with me. So let’s start there and work my way down the page. Again, that dress is amazing!
Hi Aida. I’m so thrilled that you found the article useful. I think the way to begin is to treat the makeover process as an adventure to enjoy rather than a task that needs to be achieved. I just started taking pilates. I really do not like to exercise, and this class is hard! But I can see a major difference in my posture and I’m getting a noticeably flatter tummy after only about three weeks, so I’m learning to enjoy it. I feel a real sense of accomplishment after a session. The secret to success is finding activities that you enjoy and getting a friend to join you. It’s never too late to learn to change. If you don’t like it, change it. It really is that simple. Please let me know how you are getting along! ~ Dorrie
Those shoes!!!!! I just want to have a date with your shoes; forget the man : )
Hahaha. You are hilarious! The shoes are by Stuart Weitzman. They are probably about ten years old, but I think they do similar styles every season. Ebay is also a great place to look as well. ~ Dorrie
I love your look here. I really have casual dating outfits only. I need to find myself a dress!
One thing I have to ask you is how to find a good tailor, and how to figure out what I should expect to pay for different tailoring services in my area (Philadelphia suburbs). My bust is a size 6-8 (size 32G bra), my waist a size 8-10, and hips a size 0-2, depending on the brand… and my shoulders are probably about a size 4, but to get my bust down to a size 4, I’d have to weigh 105-110 pounds, and then my ribs stick out so much (at this age) that I’m uncomfortable in a low-necked top… I’m much more comfortable at 115-120 pounds… but finding tailored jackets, dresses or coats that fit is well-nigh impossible, and buying for the shoulders and letting the bust out can be tricky.
I want to contribute that I was overweight for several years, after gaining a ton of weight due to illness, and I had a lot of trouble finding a way to take it off without feeling hungry all the time, which I could not sustain for longer than a few months. I finally took off 40 pounds (in 40 weeks) by doing intermittent fasting (500 calories/day two days a week, eating normally the other five days), and am keeping the weight off with intermittent fasting one day a week. The information for the system I used can be found at http://thefastdiet.co.uk/ — in case anyone else is having the same issue and wants to try it. I found I can put up with being hungry one or two days a week, just not all the time! As the weight came off I also started to walk a lot more, working up to 10,000 steps/day (I have various health problems that make more vigorous exercise difficult for me). And, surprisingly, I learned that fasting has health benefits in addition to just losing weight.
Well, I can tell you, you look very hot in this dress, with your hairstyle, legs and shoes. And as Eimear said, this is sound advice for any woman to start loving herself again I she didn’t before.
I have noticed I get more and more confident with every year I blog. And smarter in putting outfits together.
Greetje